Have you ever thought that you might actually benefit from being and staying overweight? I know, at first you might think that this sounds crazy because there’s nothing you like about being overweight, but hang in here with me for a moment.
This exercise is simply about becoming more aware of how staying overweight is benefiting you, in fact you might even be sabotaging your very own weight loss and fitness goals because of unconscious thoughts you have about how your overweight benefits you.
So what kind of benefits could there possibly be to being overweight? Here are some examples that I can think of:
- No structure: Don’t have to monitor what you eat or how much you eat.
- An excuse for life: Can use your overweight or obesity as a reason to not get involved in life because of fears or anxieties you have about life in general, fears that your overweight keeps you from facing.
- Staying stuck in a victim mentality: Can use your overweight as the reason that the job, relationship, home life, etc. didn’t work out, when actually it’s not.
- Food addiction: If you are addicted to sugar, flour, fat, salt, dairy (basically processed food and fast food 😉 ), then you can continue to feed your addiction without restraint.
- You’re not being told what to do: When you choose to change your diet, if in any way you feel like someone else is dictating how you should eat (even if this feeling is unconscious), then you might feel resentful towards that “outside force” – the one you feel is forcing you to change. So if you stay overweight and eat whatever you want whenever you want, then you are effectively rebelling against that outside authority.
Nope, These Aren’t Positive Benefits
While these are not positive benefits since they won’t help that part of you who does want to lose weight and shape up, when you look at them with full awareness you can see how your overweight can actually be construed as a benefit. Can you also see that if you do have these unconscious thoughts that it would be easy to sabotage your weight loss efforts?
If you can see yourself in any of these examples (I sure can), then what this helps you do is shed some light on why you might be sabotaging your own weight loss and fitness goals.
You see if you have two opposing sides of yourself, one side who wants to change and live a healthy lifestyle, and the other side who feels like someone else is forcing you to lose weight (even if no one is, but someone tried to do that in your past), you can see how this would cause a problem. Just when you’re getting started in a new way of life, eating healthy and exercising daily, if the opposing thoughts are still unconscious they will rise up in the form of self-sabotage.
It’s All About Awareness
My intent today is to give you something to think about, a start in becoming more aware of the other side of yourself that is benefiting from staying overweight and out of shape. It could be that your benefit isn’t on my list, but I bet that if you meditate on it or get out a piece of paper and start writing down every way you think that you could possibly be benefiting from staying overweight, then you can come up with the reasons you’ve been sabotaging your own efforts.
What do you think? If you have been sabotaging yourself for years, saying you want to lose weight but not really getting it done, if you’d like to share how you benefit from staying overweight I’d love to hear from you in a comment. This is an area that I am working on myself right now and I do think that we need to have our “entire self” on our side in order to fully change our lifestyle to get healthy and fit.
I had a BEAUTIFUL SMART FUNNY client years ago who needed to lose about 80 pounds (health reasons) and feared she’d lose her compassion and kindness if she lost the weight…that she might think she was better than others when ‘skinny’
that scenario stuck with me as it took me a while to wrap my trainer (and younger. this was YEARS AGO) brain around.
M.
MizFit’s last blog post..Tues Tips
I think for me, staying overweight meant I didn’t have to admit that I was actually overweight. Because, if I wasn’t trying to lose weight, then it meant that I didn’t need to lose weight, right? Oh, not right.
I had to feel the embarrassment of being overweight (for myself, not that other people thought that about me) and then just let it go and start taking care of myself and thinking long term how I want my body to be and feel.
Laine’s last blog post..Bonus Points, or A Body In Motion Tends to Stay in Motion*
I’m really starting to piece this together for myself. I started a job six years ago and started gaining weight right off the bat. Which was not like me. I’ve always kept my weight in control with exercise and eating healthy. My co-workers were all junk food junkies and they would make comments about me being a health food nut, well a nut in general because I would get up at four in the morning to exercise before coming to work. I felt unliked and I wanted to be liked. I wouldn’t eat the junk food in front of anyone but started over eating as soon as I got home. I carried so much stress from feeling unliked and from the job itself. I worked with 3-5 year olds. Loved the children and could have handled the stress if it had just came from the job. I went to work everyday feeling unliked and that was to much for me. I’m just now after three months of being home starting to get this together. Then found out I have celiacs disease. I’m not sure I would have found this out if I had not quit my job. I feel it was a blessing I quit and started addressing issues. I have to say having you here JoLynn has been a help to ME! Thank You!
Another great post JoLynn! I think it very important to understand the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. If mentally I am prepared and include awareness in the process, I tend to understand my body better. It is important to point out that
the advantages of obesity are not positive but are probably negative. As a person I tend to be motivated through pain or pleasure. Again I imagine the benefits of a healthy lifestyle, but also remind myself of the negative effects of obesity and an unhealthy lifestyle.
Mark Salinas, MN
Hi everyone, thank you for your wonderful, insightful comments! You’ve really added to the conversation here at Fearless Fat Loss, thank you. 🙂
@M, thank you for sharing that – a great example of how we can sabotage ourselves because we’ve got thoughts wrapped up in our weight that really don’t have anything to do with food and weight (or they shouldn’t 😉 ).
@Laine, I’ve done the same thing, like avoiding the scale or mirrors and fooling myself that I really hadn’t gained weight – it took seeing myself in pictures to realize I really had gained and needed to do something about it (that was at my highest weight – 20 lbs over what I weigh now).
@Renee, wow, I got to my highest weight working a job I couldn’t stand and I also felt just like you – I didn’t fit in and wasn’t liked by the crowd. I started eating A Lot and digging into the regular “food days” at the office.
I hope you’re faring well with your celiac disease. I don’t eat flour (except ground oatmeal flour I do myself) when I’m eating clean, and I feel a whole lot better.
@Mark, thank you very much! And you’ve got the main point there – awareness. The more we bring awareness into our everyday lifestyle choices, the more we will be able to see if we’re operating out of the unconscious, sabotaging tapes. When we are aligned fully with our healthy desires, it makes it much easier to stick to our goals. That’s what I’m working on right now. 🙂
You’ve convinced me. If anyone wants me I’ll be at the ice cream shop!
🙂
Andrew is getting fit’s last blog post..Weight tracking tools
Hi Andrew,
That’s pretty funny, I know you’re not really doing that. 😉 (lol)
Very thought provoking post.
It’s strange how being overweight can be construed as a benefit, despite the fact that deep down you want to desperately move away from that lifestyle.
Mel T’s last blog post..16 Surefire Ways to Make Your Commute Less Stressful
Ive always had a pretty face but always had a weight problem. A few years ago I made a determined effort to lose weight and I maintained a half sensible weight for a few years then after a holiday, and seeing the resulting photos, I decided I needed to lose a bit more. I managed to lose the last 2 and a half stone. After losing this weight I found the attitude of people changed towards me. I would walk into a pub or restaurant and women would give me awful looks and men give me appreciating looks. The attention from men increased and I found it very difficult to refuse the advances of men when I was out. Women I worked with became increasingly aloof and suspicious of me and I became very self conscious and embarrassed. I lasted this way for a few months only and then the weight started to pile on. As the weight returned so did my confidence and my personality. I became again free to talk to women without their suspicion that I was after their man or taking their limelight. I could have a laugh and flirt with men without them trying their luck with me. I completely agree that there are reasons for keeping the extra weight and only wish that there was a way to lose the weight which makes me so unhappy without the problems I experience being thin.
Hi Mel,
Exactly, that’s why I think it’s important to become aware of any hidden motivations you might have for staying overweight. On the surface I don’t think anyone would say that they want to be unhealthy and overweight, but when you dig deeper there could be those unconscious motivations to stay where you are.
Hi Elizabeth,
Thanks so much for sharing your experience, I think there are many of us who can relate to you!
There definitely is a way to lose the weight and keep it off and feel great about it, and as you’ve already experienced, you know that it doesn’t have anything to do with diet & exercise.
This is about the inner self, and mainly what I hear from you is that you need to feel that it’s OK for you to shine your light and be all that you can be – when you are living up to your highest potential you don’t take anything away from other people, and if others have a problem with that, those aren’t the people you need to be hanging around with.
This also is about your personal power and your right to say no to anyone who you want to say NO to. 😉 You have every right to live in a beautiful body and at the same time it’s your choice who you allow into your space.
I realize these are difficult lessons, which is why many of us opt out the easy way and use our body to say no (by gaining weight), but from what you’ve said, you really want to live in a fit, beautiful body – and you have every right to!
One last thing – I’m on the same page with you because I’ve done the same thing before. Yes, it’s easier to stay overweight, but we really don’t want to do that, do we? Lose the weight and shine your light – you will be an inspiration to others just by living and being who you are. 🙂
I once lost some weight rather fast and afterwards I was really sad that I couldn’t fit into my favorite Jeans anymore. How silly is this? Guess what, I gained it all back, the exact amount I needed to fit into the jeans.
Alexa Cooper’s last blog post..Wii Fit
Alexa, excellent comment, thank you very much for sharing that!
I know what you mean, that it sounds silly when you look back at it now, but at the time I bet you weren’t even aware of what was operating in the back of your mind to help you regain the weight – these are the kinds of things that sabotage us – the thoughts that can either keep us from losing weight or easily help us regain.
But when we raise our awareness of them, then we can begin to see what’s rattling around in our subconscious, bring it into the light of day, and move beyond it to where we really want to be – fit, trim, and healthy. 🙂